I Be Smart One Day

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Worried genius. Having conversations with people who have few brain cells is painful. Plus as a genius, you should be able to come up with ways to become unworried right???!????

I think it would be cool to be a genius too. Oh wait. Ha.

Don't Push MY Buttons

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

you know i just read an article about this. something about our conditioning from using the internet and how it's changed since we started using it more. but they compared it to how people push the elevator button more than once even though it actually doesn't do anything, but when the elevator doors open, we are conditioned to think our extra button pushing helped that to happen, even though they would have opened at the same exact time had we only pushed the button once.

anyway. i only push it more than once when i'm super hyper. or i have to pee.

Reaching for the stars.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

California.

Cuz the girls are unforgettable.

Seriously though prolly north carolina. it's pretty. there's big cities, close by beaches, is affordable to live there, they have a decent school system, you're on the east coast so all the tv shows are an hour earlier, giving you time to go to sleep at night...

As far as country? I wouldn't mind living in Ireland. Despite the fact it's bankrupt. There's enough beautiful men I wouldn't pay much attention to that.

All Hands On Deck

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

ppppppfffffffffft. can't decide. I'm not sure if I'm just tired of this and want a break or if it would be truly better for me to let it go. I've tried a few times stepping back and figuring it out but haven't been able to do that with much success yet.

i guess another thing i should probably kick is my holding on to perceptions of people- not letting them change either for the good or for the bad. I feel like I'm guilty of having one set image of someone in my mind and then not allowing that image to change at all, which causes many many conflicts...

I beseech you!

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

Sky diving.

The possibility of death. And crapping my pants from fear.

Seriously.

Also, I would really like to become someone people treat as an actual friend rather than just a nice girl that they really like. the difference is the friend gets someone to hang out with and the really nice girl sits alone in her room most nights.

I'd say the biggest obstacle in that is other people's perceptions of me. which I don't really have the power to change. BUMMER.

It's A Hard Knock Life

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Well let's see here. Logistically speaking, if everyone was made happy by everything that makes ME happy, there would be a whole ton of happy people in this world. therefore there would be no angry people to fight for things that are right and there would be a downward spiral..........................................

But really. I feel like my life experiences have allowed me to see the world in a way way more positive life than most people. So I have learned to not take things for granted and instead delight in them. Plus, I get enough sleep for my body every night. which in general makes me a more pleasant person, which most people DON'T.

I love love love being happy.

My different brain

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

My view on education. Kids HATE going to school. They hate going to class and taking notes. They hate reading textbooks. They hate taking exams. They hate learning really. I LOVE IT. I picked classes with subject matter I'm excited to learn about. I picked times that worked for me. I love going to class and learning about the stuff that my professors teach me!

Also. My view on sleep. Suddenly, it is uncool to go to bed and get enough sleep for the night. Which doesn't make ANY sense to me because not only is it unhealthy, it also makes you crabbier, slower, and less likely to remember things. So it's like being stupid and annoying is cool now. Which I don't agree with. I love getting my eight hours of sleep a night!!!

INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

This is an odd awkwardly worded question. But anyway. I'd say I've definitely seen it the other way. But I guess that it has happened many times over because I was in JET for so long. And those boys were freakin' INSANE to the furthest extent of the word insane... stefan *cough cough cough*

I like to Break things?

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

I think that would have to be dependent on what law it was. For example, murder? No. That would show that I am under the impression that me and my loved ones are more important than everyone else, which is wrong. However, laws like jaywalking, number of people in cars, etc. would probably be easier for me to break, despite the fact that these laws are made for a reason. I think it would be because at the time of desperation laws would not be big enough to stop me.

My Brain THoughts

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Golly. To fully embrace themselves before they try and fully embrace someone else. Relationships (romantic and otherwise) or way more successful and full if you know exactly who you are and what you want. If you don't understand yourself, no one else will have a chance in hell to do it.

That gross G Word

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

BAH. Gossip. What a harsh harsh world. I would LOVE to say I would stand up and say "Excuse me, I happen to like her shut up." Unfortunately, let's go back to a previous question, where I stated I am created to want to please other people.

Yup. Probably know the answer now huh? Unless what they're saying really fires me up I probably won't say anything. Meh. What a humbling thing to have to answer.

Right Left Or Middle

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

That really depends on what I'm doing. I think at school and in class I tend to focus on doing things right. Or at least in class. I suffer from a definite need to appease to others. It is an unfortunate situation, and one that I have attempted to remedy many many times. However, it is something I am permanently stuck with this issue. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

however. I also am really in tune with moral rights and wrongs since I was born. So I know I definitely am also really focused on doing the right things. I try hard to make people happy, and to direct people how and where they need to be directed.

In short I am happy with how I focus my energies. Which I did not know before. YAY

It's MY Life

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Well I would love to say 100% but because of the state of my life I grew up with parents. Therefor they have controlled much of my early life and childhood. I can feel us kind of transitioning here because of my being in college, but I definitely still feel their attempt at controlling me.

I think besides just ordinary they don't want me to do stupid stuff, I have a pretty large grasp on what I do. I used to allow myself to be directed by what other people thought and how they wanted me to act. After this summer though, I can say I have definitely become more self motivated. A people pleaser, yes, but way more about myself than I had ever been before.

I know I was super bummed about the lack of people and friends that would be around, especially the absence of my boyfriend. But I am now glad that God has led me down this path. Now that the end is nearing, I can see why I needed this summer. I have truly become my own person and make my own decisions on what I do.

I guess we will see what the school year brings!

Shooooooooooort Lives

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I feel like I would still be at college, but I would also probably be getting married this summer, or thinking about next summer. I think with such short lives, the culture would be different, so getting married this early would not be so strange or frowned upon.

Beyond that, I think I would probably keep in touch with my old friends a little bit more. Maybe. Though I am really bad about that so who knows.

Believe What You Want

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Currently, I am spending 10 hours a day clapping my hands together at various tempos and hearing and saying the same things over and over and over again. All for the sake of music.

You tell ME if I believe in what I'm doing.

Basically more than I could ever describe. I may have chosen a different career path (which I definitely believe in) but i still owe my life to music. It has given me everything.

RICHES

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Talking to people. Communicating, and helping others communicate, has always been a passion of mine. It just makes me so happy to know i'm not alone and to hear how other people think. I also adore brainstorming with other people (well,usually) because it shows me that there are other ways of thinking.

Although I also love working when I just have a concrete list of things I need to do, and I don't need to interact with other people to do them. I can just go check, check, check, and then be done!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

What a loaded question. And a hard one. Dang.

*insert jeopardy theme song*

All right. Since this is blog time I just went and sat for a half an hour and figured it out. This is what I've got:

The issue of equality. I feel like the problems people have stem from the belief that you are better than someone else, or that you are NOT better than someone else. Conflict arises when two groups disagree. Two groups disagree when they believe they are each in the right.

However, that's not how it has to happen. If the two groups did not have an issue of inequality, or the feeling of being better than someone else, they would instead sit down and figure out which group was right.

Plus, when my small car almost gets smashed by a freaking huge truck who feels he has the right to pull out onto a busy street even though he has a stop sign and the busy street does not, it makes me angry.

Speaking From the Heart

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Being technical with this one..... no. Definitely have WAY WAY more actions than words.

However since these questions aren't created for technicality.....

Probably. I spend a good deal of time telling other people what they should be doing. I always look at people who are doing something ie.volunteering, charities, being famous for good reasons, etc. and wonder how they got to where they are. Especially when young kids do stuff like start a company. I feel like they will end up being on the other side of the spectrum from me.

However #2. I feel like that's ok with me. Some people have inborn motivation. Those are the go getters- they go out and do things on their own, they don't need someone. Those are the kids who are on CNN for creating a new company to help battle AIDS in Africa. Then there are the people who need a push here and there but once they get it, they do just fine. And finally there are people like me, who know what those people in the second group need to get their balls rolling. I feel like everyone just needs to find their place and be happy where it is. People like me don't get the recognition like the go getters or the ones who need the push in the right direction, but I feel like we are just as important.

Likes and Dislikes

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

adskjlf;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

That's my first thought.

Second thought. I'd blame it on our parents. And their parents before them. And their parents before them. Or just society in general. We are brought up being taught we have to suffer the bad in order to get the good. Or to suffer the bad at the same time as the good. We're also taught if we don't follow rules etc. then we can't have what we like.

So basically we are taught to do something we don't like and we'll get a treat. Like dogs.

Cool.

This Or That

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Well. This question might be a little conditional (for example, for something life threatening i'd say failing....) But overall I feel like failing would be worse. I think that it's harder to experience something, or get the hint of something, or start wanting something and then have that something taken away, then to not ever experience it.

Ok that was really awkward wording. Basically it sucks worse to have something taken away if you experience it then if it gets taken away and you don't even know what it is.

On My Way

I like browsing the interwebs! Found "50 Questions that Will Free Your Mind."

And I intend to answer them. One by one, to the fullest extent. I think it will help me understand myself better, so I can better answer the question "Who am I?"

1)How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?

Interesting question. Physically, I feel like I am 50. My joints are all creaky and old feeling, I am almost always tired. My physical health is pretty shitty.

Mentally? That one is a little more tough. I would say probably 24. I feel like I am way more mature than most people my age (or of any age). I also feel like I know more than most people. As in, I am WAY more observant and therefor seem much more wise than I maybe am. It doesn't bother me, just makes me think. And be gracious. I love not having to question how to do things or why something happens. But instead I can figure it out on my own.

So yeah. 24. or maybe 26. 26 seems a little more accurate since I am friends with few 24 year olds!!!